I keep looking with hope there is a message from you
I must not be busy enough
When I sit still I stop and think of you
It's gotta be two times an hour I'm checking
And why?
Why am I head over heels
Why am I so anxious
Why do I want what can't be had and push away the available
You said its not written on my face, I'm glad
There is so much, so much that would be read if it were written

I can't wait to sit near you without the confines of work limiting
I dunno if I can handle it, this the secret
I can't sit still waiting

I am excessively infatuated with you. It's unhealthy.



7/6/12 fucking awesome.  The last time I vomited (because of too much alcohol or at all)  was in 2005. Fuck fuck fuck. I remember the night. I don't feel like this is a good thing.  I remember going to the bathroom. Using the bathroom then things starting to spin a bit. 
I remember someone knocking on the door, I did find my way to unlock it. Then I remember sitting on the floor and wine and maybe popcorn coming up. 


First was Sue, then Tyrell, then Briana. 
Damn it, being drunk out of home is just no fun. 


There was a lot of advice from Sue. I'm very confused about what is known and what she and Briana talk about vs what she just sees from my behavior. 
*sigh*
first call out in 2 years. I'm tempting to go in. But, I'm still pretty drunk. 
Tyrell is still snoring on my floor.