The Perfect Day for Missing Someone

Today was the Perfect Day for missing someone

Someone that would never come

For missing that person you knew missed you

But was continuously fighting that feeling

pushing it away

Like a Child that speaks to their parent

via the phone

that parent that always lets you down

by not showing up, though they promised

but the known disappointment doesn't stop them

from getting their hopes up

doesn't keep their heart from longing

Today was that day

very gloomy outside

not a day to be mad that nothing was done

or time was wasted waiting

and if there were anything to be unhappy about and sulk in

the sky would encompass you

release the sorrow packed away

just that kind of day

I had no desire to dismiss that sorrow

It reminded me...

I still wait for you

knowing there is no arrival

I wake and look for you before dawn breaks

I need not open my eyes

no longer must it be

a physical walking back and forth of the house

this narrow place

Its in my mind

The layout and the steps

the silence

the bed filled with air holding One

comfortably

I wake and my spirit seeks you

finding the day of the week

searching

not time to move

not even to reposition

but to feel the room for you

the missing

I look for you

for your presence

I hope for it, searching

Are you showering? I think its after 4

turning over to the pillow or emptiness?

curled in a ball, crying, mourning?

Do you look for me?

Your problems are much larger than me

certainly its not my caress

my lack of cuddling perfectly inside you

that keeps you awake, steals your sleep

but even in knowing this

being aware and sleeping through the night

i yearn for your smile

through tears and hurt

your kindness and gentle spirit

I search for you in my thoughts

while redefining patience

assigning patience a time and length

will I ever not wait?

There seems to me to always be the perfect parking spot

right in sight from my window

but worry not, I don't sit there waiting much

but today seemed to me to be

the perfect day

for watching, waiting, missing someone

wondering if the time will ever come

when I wait no more

the perfect day I say

to divert my attention

and leave the searching and waiting

for those early morning hours

any hour just before and after that deep REM sleep

the brackett of time I seem to be unable to escape

Still today was the perfect day

as if I had forgotten

I remembered,

despite what I might think

I wait

looking for themissing presence

you.

This perfect day will come again